I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
