i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
