You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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