Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
