so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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