I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you didnt know i had herpes?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
