hell yes lets make some ravioli
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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