I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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