Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
