Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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