It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
