Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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