How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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