i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
