I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
