It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
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