Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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