she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
That was before I lit my hair on fire
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
