shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
