Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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