why do cheetos always look like penises
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
