i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
