I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
