i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
