Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
