On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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