new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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