Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
