theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
