Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
