Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
