I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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