It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
