Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
