the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just had sex on a roof
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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