I can tuck mytits in my pants
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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