so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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