I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
