I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
