so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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