I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
