Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
