I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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