sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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