dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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