so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
