He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Randomize
