when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
