Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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