All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
