Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
