New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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