i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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