Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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