you traded sex for a burrito?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
